The Hangover Part II

     I’m a movie buff.  Not one of those artsy, black-turtleneck-wearing fairies who watch foreign films and discuss the film’s deep symbolism and reflections of society and the evil of corporations, but a real movie aficionado.  I’m also not a cretin who can be wowed with a bunch of explosions and a few bare titties.  It will take more than a big special effects budget and a lot of car chases to get a thumbs-up from me.  I am a real, live, red-blooded, self-aware, white American male between the ages of thirty and sixty.  I am the demographic in this country who is supposed to be in charge of things, so my opinion should matter.  And I like enjoyable, entertaining movies with good stories and good music and believable acting and funny jokes.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently.

     Which brings me to today’s complaint: The Hangover Part 2.  I recently saw that masterpiece of cinema again (accidentally, I assure you), and it raised my ire.  This pile of dog crap is the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time (according to Wikipedia, and I can’t imagine that the internet would lie about such a thing).  If that’s true, then we should all be ashamed of ourselves.  Everything about this movie is contrived, formulaic, and predictable.  Obviously written by committee, it pisses on the greatness of the original. It has essentially the same plot, only set in Bangkok, and they gave Fat Jesus a haircut and Stu a tattoo.  The Chinese guy’s tiny penis is good for a couple of chuckles, and there’s enough slapstick and shockers thrown in to keep the retarded masses happy.  But for me, at the end of that film the strongest reaction I had was a vague sense of anger and that I wanted my $8.50 ticket price back.  Shame on you, Warner Brothers. 

     Don’t get me wrong.  I know it’s just business.  Warner Brothers took $80 million and turned it into nearly $600 million at the box office ($17 of that was mine).  I am a big fan of capitalism.  But this is also art.  I’m sure that Gone With the Wind II would have been popular initially too, but it seems a little inappropriate somehow.

I have decided that expecting Hollywood to cool it with the sequels is just too much to expect.  People will go and see a sequel to their favorite movie, and as long as that’s true, the movies will be made.  It just pains my heart to see it.